I realize it’s a little late for a Christmas story, but since I just threw out my tree the other day, I figured I’d go for it….
In our family, we never let our brother forget one particular Christmas—the year he and his wife were newlyweds, as it happened. That year, Reed* showed up on Christmas Eve with a broken arm and a glum look. The limb had been fractured just two days earlier, and here’s how:
Reed and his wife Marisa were celebrating their first Christmas together—complete with their first Christmas tree, two cats and a St. Bernard. They also were temporarily in charge of a garter snake that Marisa had offered to watch over Christmas break (she was a teacher, and the snake needed temporary quarters while school was closed).
Three days before Christmas, Reed was in the shower when he heard Marisa let out a blood- curdling scream. He ran out fast—without grabbing so much as a towel—to see what happened. “The snake!” Marisa screamed. Somehow the reptile houseguest had gotten loose and was slithering off to parts unknown.
So, a nervous and stark-naked Reed got down on his hands and knees to look for the snake. While on the floor, he suddenly felt something cold and slimy probing him in the butt. (It was the St. Bernard’s wet nose; apparently the dog was registering a bit of canine curiosity at such an unexpected sight.) But Reed, unaccustomed to that sensation, assumed it was a snake bite—and instantly passed out from fright.
Near hysterics, Marisa ran to the phone and called an ambulance. The EMTs arrived quickly, got Reed covered with a blanket, and moved him onto a stretcher. As they were lifting him up and carrying him out, one of the EMTs suddenly spotted the snake in the Christmas tree. He screamed and dropped the stretcher—sending Reid to the floor with a massive jolt, breaking his left wrist in the process.
So every time Reed was asked, “Omigosh… how did you break your arm?” THIS was the story he had to tell.
*Names are changed – he’d kill me if I used the real one!
This story just made my day. I really needed a laugh!! Wow. Talk about imagery. Instant classic.
Why do I think your brother never told the real story about his “Christmas break”!!!…
your stories.are a riot…keep them coming…I could use a good laugh?
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