Ted and Charlie were my two brothers growing up…I say “growing up” because Sam and John, my half brothers, came many years later. My sister Cindy was right in the middle of this group of boys, so it is remarkable that she made it to college in one piece! Ted, my older brother, thought he could do anything (like cooking), and almost burnt the house down on several occasions. Charlie, my youngest brother in the early years, had a really quick temper and took to throwing things like shoes and knives. But the person who led the nation in troublemaking and disciplinary actions was me, your humble story teller. The following is the story of the “Ball of String.”
Some background: When we first moved into our house I was in kindergarten—and I overheard my parents say that the person who lived in the house before us had died here. (Each night I kept thinking if my closet door was left open his ghost was going to come out and get me, and one night I accidentally left my bathrobe on the bed post and woke up thinking it was him for sure…so I did what any kid would do at that age: I hid under the covers! Yes, the covers would protect me, I thought.) I don’t know when I first started dreaming about the bear chasing me, but I am sure now it was my father snoring….
My father, a professional football player with a major league team, was a very LARGE man (in fact, Red Barber called him the biggest man in football in 1945!) He wasn’t around that much because after he left professional football he joined a professional wrestling group that toured the country. So when he was home things around the house felt a little bit out of the ordinary.
As I said, I sometimes had nightmares, but the nightmare that bothered me the MOST was a giant bear chasing me—and I would always find myself falling off a cliff. Well, imagine my surprise when I woke up one night to hear the damn grizzly bear was in my parents’ bedroom!!
I decided it was time to fix this problem, and as a third grader, I was sure I could solve it. I went downstairs looking for something I could use to lock that bear up quickly so I could go back to sleep. The only thing that seemed useful was a ball of string.
I tied the ball of string to the master bedroom door and then to all of the other doors and then repeated this process over and over again until all the string was gone. I smiled for a moment for a task well done!!!
What I didn’t know at the time was not only was the “bear” my father—but my father was claustrophobic! With a stomp and a roar the door rattled, and I thought the whole house shook, as my father yelled out, “Tommy, LET ME OUT OF HERE!”
I have to tell you… at this point I had mixed emotions. First, how could he know it was me? And I was really surprised the string held back something as large as a bear, but I was afraid to let him out! So I whispered, “Dad, will you hit me if I let you out?” He said, “No, I won’t hit you… just go get a knife and cut the string.” I yelled back, “But you told me never to play with knives!” Dad didn’t hesitate, “Get this door open or you may not be able sit down for a few weeks!”
So I ran downstairs, got a knife, and cut the string. Dad came thundering out and the next thing I knew I was flying through the air! I shouted, “I thought you said you wouldn’t hit me!” Before he got close to me again, I crawled through his legs, ran through his room, jumped out his window, climbed down a tree, and ran as fast and far as my third-grade legs would take me!
Imagine seeing THIS in your dreams!!
That was hysterical!!! 🙂
This is so funny. Great story.
What a great story! loved it
Good one!
…and I thought I was the only one who was sure “dead” people were hiding in my bedroom closet and were going to “get me” when I closed my eyes!!!